Living Today Well

A Vertical Relationship

2012-02-09T02:46:00.001-06:00

Have you ever just felt utterly overwhelmed by all that's going on in our world today? My goodness, some days I wish I could just tune it all out!

As I have been focusing on my life these past few months, and most recently these past few weeks, I have thought much about where my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ fits. Ouch ... There are so many opinions from all kinds of different people ... read that, listen to this, do this devotional, pray for 30 minutes ... and on and on ... In fact just today there was a huge uproar about Ellen and her gay lifestyle being the spokesperson for JC Penny. You're probably wondering how in the world I brought this rabbit trail into the middle of my thought but there's a reason behind it all.

It saddens my heart so much to see the hatred that "Christians" have for people who have a gay lifestyle. I wonder what sin is in their life? It amazes me that we can spend so much time judging others according to "our" standards but we don't bother to look at our own lives. Do you really think the Lord categorizes sin? I don't ... I think He hates it all. I have had many gay friends in the past and have worked with many others and let me tell you ... they are some of the kindest people I have met. Now wouldn't you think the kindest people would be those of us who claim to be Christ followers. In fact, in the Bible it tells us that the unbelievers will know we are Christians if we love one another ... shoot, we can't even do that in the church body because we are too busy looking at what others are doing. It so saddens my heart.

So as I have been thinking through all of this and talking to Jesus about it I began to look at my own relationship with Him. Am I looking around at all the folks around me and judging them as well because they don't fit into my box called "Christianity"? Something like, "how could you even think God could love you and save you if you're gay?". As I thought about my own sin in my life it made me sad to think how mean I can be to others without even realizing it. Maybe if I would begin to look at my relationship with Jesus as a vertical one, I'd stop seeing what everyone else is doing are start learning to become more like him each day. And what does He tell us to do ..... LOVE! Love is weaved all over throughout God's Word. Hmmmm I wonder what He's trying to help us understand.

You know, our family watches Ellen's show every evening on our DVR .. Not only is she incredibly hilarious, but she's one of the most generous people I have seen. Now think about this with me. Why in the word would she want anything to do with Christianity when she is treated with such disrespect and hostility? Why would she even have a desire to hear about this "loving" God who forgives us our sins and saves us? Why? It hurt me so much today watching her show and hearing what the million moms are doing because Ellen is a spokesperson for JC Penny. Love that ... The Lord loves Ellen ... In fact, He loves all of us sinners ... but the only way Ellen would ever truly understand God's incredible grace and mercy is if she experienced it from us!!! Remember, we are His hands and feet. We are not here to judge but to love. It's about respecting people where they're at.

And so with that, I'll close asking you all to pray for me as I focus each day on becoming more and more like Christ. I pray that each day I will remember that my relationship with Christ is vertical and then from their it become horizontal to such a hurting world.

Pressing Forward

2012-01-28T14:47:00.001-06:00

I woke up this morning thinking about the goals of my life. Imagine that ... I have spent so much time focusing on my past failures ... and so needless to say it felt good to think about the future for a bit.

There are a couple of verses I would like to share with you from: Philippians 3:12-14 from the New International Version says:

"¹² Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. ¹³ Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, ¹⁴ I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."

I was on the treadmill last night trying to put one step in front of the other and thinking how far back I have come since I put all my weight back on and suddenly, as I was listening to my worship music it was as if the Holy Spirit brought the above verses to my mind. I started thinking about what I was doing at that moment ... I was pressing forward! You know, I'm so good at talking about what I need to get done but it fascinates me to see how much I really do get done vs how much I just talk about it. Last night I was doing something about it and it gave me a new kind of strength from within to keep fighting through the pain. Have you really ever sat down and done a study on Paul's life? There was absolutely nothing glamorous about his life. In fact, it was quite the opposite. He suffered incredible persecution like we could never even imagine. It's so easy to read about the things he went through for the cause of Christ but to then try and comprehend the pain and suffering he went through to spread the good news of Jesus is just incredible to me. He says in verse 14 that he presses on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called him ... to be in heaven with Christ Jesus. But the verse that really hit me was 13. He says Brothers and Sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it ... his goal ...but one thing I do; Forgetting what is BEHIND and STRAINING toward what is ahead!!! I can't even tell you how many times I have read those verses. Seriously ... and what do I do? I so easily focus on my past failures rather than truly understanding the GRACE I have been given and focus on today and the future ... setting goals with the idea that I want everyone to know and experience the GRACE of Christ Jesus like I have received. It's my hearts' passion.

So what do I do? Exactly what verse 13 tells me to do. I will press on ... I will press forward and I will forget about all the junk from my past and I will stop feeling sorry for myself. It's time to starting living on the high road ... I will do this by living each day to the fullest not only working on my spiritual journey with Christ but also working hard on my health. It doesn't matter that I started in 2006 and lost so much weight! That was then ... this is now. I'm starting over and the past is the past. There's nothing I can do about it.

In closing, I would like to share a devotional that I read today written by Sarah Young. It's in her devotional book titled Jesus Calling - Enjoying peace in His presence ... Published in Nashville, TN in 2004 by Thomas Nelson. This is on page 29 dated January 28

"I AM WITH YOU ALWAYS. These were the last words I spoke before ascending into heaven. I continue to proclaim this promise to all who will listen. People respond to My continual Presence in various ways. Most Christians accept this teaching as truth but ignore it in their daily living. Some ill-taught or wounded believers fear (and may even resent) My awareness of all they do, say, and think. A few people center their lives around this glorious promise and find themselves blessed beyond all expectations. When My presence is the focal point of your consciousness, all the pieces of your life fall into place. As you gaze at Me through the eyes of your heart, you can see the world around you from My perspective. The fact that I am with you makes every moment of your life meaningful"

Isn't that powerful! This is a wonderful devotional written in first person from Jesus to us. And as I read those words today it just renewed my faith and hope knowing that He does have my back and He does care about everything I do and say. He loves me so much. And the most beautiful thing is He loves ALL of us that much! No matter what we are struggling with we must press forward knowing that He will guide us and protect us every step of the way. God bless you my friends. You are loved!

Food for Thought

2012-01-26T23:35:00.001-06:00

Wow, I'm truly amazed that it's been a year since I last wrote on this blog ... and what a year it's been! I have to tell you that I was actually shocked to reread my blog entry from January 10, 2011 because it talks about exactly how I feel today. Totally defeated! I wonder why that is? What is it that causes me to continually beat myself up for not achieving the goals that I have set for myself. Why do I hold so much in my head rather than typing it out on paper so that I can go back and reread previous entries like I did today? I can learn so much about myself if I would just do that. I have talked about writing this blog for three years now and I seem to do OK for a few days but then I just stop ... like so many other lofty goals of mine. And then I feel like I have failed something else. Well ... I'm tired of feeling this way and I'm tired of being so hard on myself. I'm the only me that I will ever have and I'm sick and tired of the way I treat myself! Where's the pride and dignity in who Christ created me to be? Starting today I will no longer relish in my miseries of the past but rather, I will thank the Lord for His mercies and GRACE which are NEW EVERY morning! He loves us so much and it hurts Him when I'm so cruel to myself. I really think it does.

And so it is that once again I will climb back aboard life's journey that's so full of adventure. Each morning I will wake up reminding myself of God endless love for me and my love for Him. My prayer is that His love will flow through me to others no matter what it is I'm doing. Even at the pool swimming, there's always folks to talk with and encourage. It's time for me to take the focus off of me and focus on Jesus because He has called me to just be me and allow Him to love others through me so that they can see and experience His love for them. My true hearts desire is to be His hands and feet ... to love and care for others and to share the good news of Jesus' forgiveness and unconditional love. Yes, He has me right where He wants me and I'm going to rejoice in the Lord each day for the opportunities He has given me today! Because I'm gong to Live Today Well! I'm sure they'll be some bumps and bruises along this journey but you know ... that's OK. I'm not going to worry about tomorrow. I'm focusing on today. And as my priorities get straightened out ... I believe my health will follow because He does love me and He does care about me. And the same goes for you my friend. It's time for the discouragement to flee because discouragement is not something from the Lord but rather it's the devil doing everything he can to get us to give up and quit. Hmmmm how long has he had me trapped in the same spot? I'm sick of it. It's time to speak life of ourselves dear friends. John 10:10 tells us that the enemy has come to steal, kill and destroy but Jesus has come that we might have LIFE and that more abundant! I'm choosing life ..... How about you?

A New Beginning!

2011-01-10T21:52:00.002-06:00

Thank you so very much for taking the time to read my blog. I have never been one to be a great writer but it's something that I would really like to start doing more of. For one, I think it will help me understand my life so much better in regards to where I have been and where I'm heading with my life. The first 47 years seem like a lot of chaos and confusion but oh how I have learned so many valuable lessons.

I have titled this blog Living Today Well because one of the greatest lessons that I have learned is that I must focus on today and stop thinking so much about tomorrow. Too often I look at my past goals and wonder why I haven't succeeded. I realized that so much of my energy and effort has been geared toward the end result rather then focusing on today and living today well ... or living the best that I can today. Although it is good to plan and to set goals, the Bible tells us that we don't know what tomorrow holds or even if tomorrow will come. How many blessings have I missed in my life because I was so focussed on what lied ahead in my life rather then enjoying today to it's fullest!

And so it is with this new HOPE that I set out on my sixth year of this crazy journey. I had done so well my first year and then maintained quite well up until this past year. My knees became so soar that I could no longer swim. This caused me a great deal of depression and anxiety and I ended up going right back to my old habits of eating because it made me feel so good. But you know, the crazy thing is that I would feel good while I was eating but then I would feel horrible after because my body was hurting with all the extra fat I have been carrying around. Well, this past September, I had a double knee replacement surgery and I was in rehab for a couple of months. Here also I gained a lot of my weight back because I couldn't get up to exercise and frankly, I was bored out of my mind sitting in that nursing home. Oh, I had lots of good times ministering to others there but I also had plenty of time to be bored ... But, today was a new day my friends and today was my first day back in the pool! It felt so wonderful to be back to swimming which is what I love to do, even though my knees felt so funny in the water. I had a wonderful swim.

My hope is that I can journal my daily experiences here and I hope that you, the reader, will feel free to post on this blog. I hope that you will be encouraged to live your life well too and that you will find a renewed sense of joy in your heart.

I will be weighing in weekly and measuring monthly. Here are my current results.

1-10-11 362 lbs

Stomach is 61" around

Chest is 58" around

Life's Curve Balls

2010-08-02T23:50:00.001-05:00

Isn’t it amazing how difficult life can be some days? I was thinking about this thought after coming out of my counselor’s office this afternoon but there was one thought that I couldn’t get off my mind. It’s so easy to look at my life, and at times feel sorry for myself because of the way things are going, or are not going as I would like them to do. I can end up feeling very depressed with no energy to even focus on getting myself better. But one thing that the Lord showed me today was that even though life does throw us curve balls every now and then, there’s always someone else who is suffering so much more then I am. When was the last time I thanked the Lord for what’s He’s done in my life, or the incredible wife he has blessed me with, or the two amazing kids we have? It seems to me that I spend more time complaining about my life then being thankful for all the many blessings that I have! We are selfish by nature but life doesn’t have to be this way. I have decided that the only way I will recognize true success in my life is to thank the Lord continually for His blessings even when life does throw me a curve ball and to know that I have a choice as to what kind of attitude I will have. The theme of this blog is Living Well Today and it all starts with an attitude of gratitude! I am determined to change my attitude because I have so much to be thankful for.

Have a blessed day and remember to Rejoice in the Lord ALWAYS!

The Parable of the Sower

2010-06-03T23:04:00.005-05:00

One of the most interesting things in studying the life of Jesus is how He taught in parables so that the people could understand His message in their life language, or their every day living experiences. I have been thinking a lot lately about my relationship with Christ and how I can get to know Him better and have a more intimate relationship with Him where I can really learn how to hear His voice. This particular parable in Luke 8 really jumped out at me. Large crowds would follow Jesus from town to town and after they had traveled for a while, Jesus would stop and teach the crowds through these parables. Luke 8:4-15 in the New Living Translation says:

^"4 One day Jesus told a story in the form of a parable to a large crowd that had gathered from many towns to hear him: ⁵ “A farmer went out to plant his seed. As he scattered it across his field, some seed fell on a footpath, where it was stepped on, and the birds ate it. ⁶ Other seed fell among rocks. It began to grow, but the plant soon wilted and died for lack of moisture. ⁷ Other seed fell among thorns that grew up with it and choked out the tender plants. ⁸ Still other seed fell on fertile soil. This seed grew and produced a crop that was a hundred times as much as had been planted!” When he had said this, he called out, “Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand.”⁹ His disciples asked him what this parable meant. ¹⁰ He replied, “You are permitted to understand the secrets of the Kingdom of God. But I use parables to teach the others so that the Scriptures might be fulfilled: ‘When they look, they won’t really see.When they hear, they won’t understand.’¹¹ “This is the meaning of the parable: The seed is God’s word. ¹² The seeds that fell on the footpath represent those who hear the message, only to have the devil come and take it away from their hearts and prevent them from believing and being saved. ¹³ The seeds on the rocky soil represent those who hear the message and receive it with joy. But since they don’t have deep roots, they believe for a while, then they fall away when they face temptation. ¹⁴ The seeds that fell among the thorns represent those who hear the message, but all too quickly the message is crowded out by the cares and riches and pleasures of this life. And so they never grow into maturity. ¹⁵ And the seeds that fell on the good soil represent honest, good-hearted people who hear God’s word, cling to it, and patiently produce a huge harvest."

As I was reading this I wondered where I fit in regards to where the seed falls in my life. As I have said before, I have seen the Lord do so many amazing things not only in my life but in people's lives around me so why is it that when life gets hard I panic? When will I "get it?" I feel that many times there are too many weeds and thorns in my life that crowd out the time I choose to spend with Jesus. I used to make the excuse that life was just too busy but then, as I began to really be honest with myself, I realized that I was choosing what and where to be busy. I have not properly set up my boundary in regards to my time with Him. I do in other areas of my life such as my swimming time, or my time with Patty and the kids, or my work, or other church activities, or watching hours and hours of TV. There is definitely plenty of time to spend with the Lord if I made that a priority in my life. I guess the reason why this hit me so much this evening is because we have been going through some very difficult financial times as have so many of our friends. We are self employed and our work has dropped dramatically these past several months.There are so many unknowns right now ... but I have had situations like this in the past where I have seen the Lord step in in so many ways. So why is it that as I face this mountain I panic? Why is it that I struggle so much with my weight loss and instead turn to food when I'm under such stress and anxiety? These are good questions that I must work through and ask the Lord to help me understand. I don't want to be one of those people who get to Heaven and then hear that God doesn't know me ... In Matthew 7:21 - 23 Jesus is talking to the "church" ... He says " ²¹ “Not everyone who calls out to me, ‘Lord! Lord!’ will enter the Kingdom of Heaven. Only those who actually do the will of my Father in heaven will enter. ²² On judgment day many will say to me, ‘Lord! Lord! We prophesied in your name and cast out demons in your name and performed many miracles in your name.’ ²³ But I will reply, ‘I never knew you. Get away from me, you who break God’s laws.’" It's not too late for any of us to get our relationship and priorities right with Jesus. He loves us so much and desires to be our true friend ... He created us so that we could have a relationship with Him. I guess it's just really been hitting me lately. I have done well at talking the talk, but have not done well at walking the walk. When my life has gotten complicated and my stress and anxiety have increased, instead of laying it down and allowing Jesus to take it for me, I turn inward and just stare at the wall. I'm so tired of living my life this way. I want to experience what it's like to have such a fulfilling life and friendship with Christ so that when He does call me home, I can stand before Him on that judgement day of the believers knowing that I have dedicated my life to Him once again and did the best I could to model Him in the way I lived the second half of my life. When I face life's trials that can some times be so hard and scary, I want to learn what it's like to give it ALL over to Him and experience the kind of peace that only Jesus can give. I want to become that good soil like Luke 8:15 says: "And the seeds that fell on the good soil represent honest, good-hearted people who hear God’s word, cling to it, and patiently produce a huge harvest." If I will ask Him to help me grow in this area, I know He will help me and I will begin to experience that harvest. That's pretty exciting! It's time for me to get off the fence and run hard after my friend Jesus. I feel so incredibly blessed knowing that we serve such an amazingly loving and gracious Savior who created each of us to love Him too! I am truly a blessed man!

Overcoming Binge Eating & Obesity!

2010-05-31T23:50:00.002-05:00

Why is it that there are days when I feel so hopeless about my weight loss journey? It's been almost 4 and a half years since I began this journey to become a healthier person from the inside out but what I have found to be so interesting is that my inside really wasn't changing. Although I did very well the first year, I never got to my desired goal and just fluctuated until this past Fall and then just threw all caution to the wind and went back to all of my old eating habits. I kept saying that I would start at the beginning of the week, or the month ... but here it is, May 31st and I'm up 50 lbs from this past October and up 90 lbs from my lowest two years ago. I have been doing so much thinking and praying and listening to my counselor to truly understand what's going on in my head and my heart. Just like everyone else I have met on my weight loss journey, I thought I could do this ... but why was I doing it in the first place? All my life I have cried out for attention wanted to be liked but those around me. I have had many hurts in my life that my counselor has been helping me deal with but I want to dig even deeper to understand my feelings and emotions that cause me to binge eat so much. I thought that if I lost all the weight, I would get a lot of attention and would make some new friends. As I got closer to my goal I kind of panicked because I wondered where my "value" would be once I had completed my weight loss journey and would then be on maintenance. I'm not sure how much effect this had on me turning back to my old horrible habits but it's certainly been something I have thought much about. I say I love the Lord, and I know He loves me but do I really believe that? It's so easy to speak good "Christianise" and it all sounds good but the bottom line is where's my heart in all of that? When have I cried out to God and just been brutally honest about my struggles? Why am I so arrogant and prideful that I can't even do that? I know He's the answer for me but knowing it and putting it into action are two very different things. I have heard people say, "just give it to the Lord and He'll take it from you" or "God understands" ... but you know, I think He's letting me work through these very difficult emotions in order for me to understand what's really going on on the inside! It's such a vicious cycle for me and honestly it breaks my heart to know that I worked so hard and now I'm almost back to where I started. And I'm very much not alone with this problem. Most people who lose weight don't keep it off for long. Why is this? Well, I believe God has been showing me some things about my life that may help anyone else struggling in this area or in any other life controlling disorder. You see, I have come to realize that I am very much an extremist in pretty much anything that I do. My life has been lived so far out of balance. There were some childhood experiences that helped me to become this way but then I continued to fuel those poor behaviors through my adulthood. I can remember going to visit my folks and seeing my mom cook a small casserole for dinner. I would literally panic thinking that I wouldn't get enough to eat. There were times when I would visit them that I would have to sneak out at night to a restaurant just to feel like I was getting enough food. I felt as though I was being punished for doing something wrong and my punishment was having a meal withheld or having food withheld. It was a very panicky feeling and still is for me at times. And so this helped to create an extremist personality in me. It became an all or nothing game with me ... and if I failed or fell, I would beat myself up terribly and feel horrible about myself ... like I was no good.

So where am I going with all this rambling? It is just past midnight and we are beginning a new month. This is a great opportunity for me to pull myself up off the floor and begin a completely new approach to my healing and my overcoming obesity for good. Here are my goals

I will begin each day by spending some quality time with my friend Jesus because He is the one who can help me see the areas that need changing and healing in my life. Without Him I'm nothing but through Him I can be an over comer!
I will cut out all refined and processed sugar from my diet! I love cookies, cake, pies and any other kind of yummy sweet stuff like donuts ... :) These sugary foods are absolutely no good for me. Instead, I will eat more fruits with natural sugar
I will swim at least three times a week. Although I would love to exercise every day, I'm taking a more modest approach and a more practical one. Many people may disagree with me on this point of exercise but I'm in this for the long haul and am working on developing good and consistent habits.
I will drink at least 100 oz of water a day
I will talk to my wife Trish and to be open with her about my struggles or anxiety so that she can pray with me and help me overcome these difficult times of temptation.
I will continue to be involved in a local support group
I will focus on eating properly portioned meals throughout the day that are healthy and well balanced.
With the Lord's help, my wife's help, and the help of my friends, I will overcome this horrible eating disorder so that I too can experience true freedom and live a longer and much healthier lifestyle.

These are just some of the balanced approaches I want to make in order to see my life get turned around again and get back to living a healthier life. I don't want to die young because of my lack of discipline or my unwillingness to deal with the real pain of getting better. I know God will help me if I'm willing to help myself.

In the Bible, we see over and over how the Pharisees tried to trap Jesus so that they could kill Him. In the book of Matthew chapter 22 verses 34-40 it says - Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducee's, the Pharisees got together. One of them, an expert in the law, tested Him with this question: "Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?" Jesus replied: "Love the Lord your God with all you heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself!' All the law and the prophets hang on these two commandments."

I have actually preached a message on these verses but do I believe them? Seriously ... When I'm self critical and hate myself for who I have become or what I look like, am I not insulting God Himself? After all, He created me didn't He? No, He didn't cause me to become a binge eater or to become obese, but does He love me any less? I'm His child and He died for me! He died for you too! When we choose to be hard on ourselves then we're telling God He's not good enough. He screwed up when He created me. This makes me so sad ... Why does Jesus tell us, after He says to love the Lord your God, why does he tell us to love our neighbors as ourselves? The bottom line is, how can I truly love others if I loath myself or my behaviors? How can I receive my true healing if I don't understand what Jesus is saying in these very important verses? Friends, He loved us so much that He was willing to die on a cross for us so that we could have everlasting life with Him ... I'm realizing more and more that this is a heart issue and that if I will allow Jesus to do heart surgery on me, He will help me to love myself the way He loves me which in turn will pour out to those around me. My addictive behaviors will be gone because I will no longer need to fill that empty void in my life.

And so it is today, June 1st 2010 that I will once again start over. I'm so thankful that Jesus is my friend and that He continually pours out His grace on me! He is so patient and I pray that as I get to know Him more and more each day that my relationship with Him will grow stronger and stronger and as it does, my lifestyle and bad habits will begin to melt away. If I do my part, I know He'll do His. And so today, I start again anew! It's all about truly learning all about Living Today Well.

A Girl and Her Dog!

2010-03-13T00:52:00.004-06:00

What is it about a dog that can bring such incredible love and joy to a home? My wife Patty and I have been so blessed watching our daughter Becca - 19 yrs old - who just got her first dog that we adopted - a beautiful 16 month old Golden Retrieveer. Becca named her Sadie Grace and it was truly amazing to see how fast Sadie Grace bonded with Becca! She's such a sweet dog and has such a cute and sweet disposition about her. But she's still got some puppy left in her and she loves to play.

I was thinking, this evening, about how awesome God is! Think about it, you couldn't take a cub lion and raise it up to be a pet ... it has an instinct to hunt and in time it would most likely kill you. The same goes for most other wild animals. But was is it about a dog! There are some wild dogs, but dogs have been domesticated for thousands of years. God knew what kind of a companion and friend a dog could be! I"m truly amazed. You see, we have 2 cats that are also super sweet but if they don't feel like coming over to be peted, then they just won't come over ... But a dog, on the other hand, will come right over and show it's affection and unconditional love. That's how Sadie Grace has been with Becca. When I went downstairs this morning to see if Sadie needed to go outside, she was curled up in bed with Becca. It was so precious! Yes, Becca finally got her dog and I'm so thankful that we were finally able to get her one. (Dad really wanted her pretty bad too!) She is a joy and a blessing to our home and I know she will bring us much more joy and love for years to come! Welcome to our home Miss Sadie Grace!

Why Am I Here?

2010-03-08T00:04:00.002-06:00

Pastor Joel Hunter was a special guest speaker at KFA today, our church here in Kenosha, WI. I wasn't quite sure what I was going to think about his message on church planting but I have to tell you, he really spoke to my heart about why I'm here. You see, I am the church, you are the church, all of us who love the Lord Jesus Christ and have accepted Him into our hearts as Lord and Savior are the church. How long have I sat with this impression or idea of what church was? Have I ever thoucht outside of the box? I can't say that I have when it comes to church but Pastor Joel really opened my eyes to the responsibility that I have to share God's love with those around me. I mean, I know that's what I'm supposed to do but for some reason I never really associated that with "the church!" Jesus has called us to be a light that shines in a dark world ... how can I be a light in a dark world if I always want to be "in church?" Don't get me wrong here ... I love to corporately worship with my other brothers and sisters and to praise the Lord and to receive a good message and that's so important ... but what about the rest of the week? What am I doing as the church to spread Christ's love to such a hurting world? Why am I here? I am here to be His hands and feet! I am here to bring hope to the hurting ... I am here to help set the captives free by directing them to the One who can set them free ... Jesus ... I am here to love the unloveable ... I am here because He created me to be here and I am honored to serve Him!

Saved By Amazing Grace!

2010-03-04T23:31:00.002-06:00

I have been thinking so much about the Lord's amazing GRACE! This past weekend, Patty spent many hours reading to me from Gayle Haggard's book "Why I Stayed". Gayle is the wife of Ted Haggard who many of you may know as the former Pastor of a large church in Colorado Springs, CO. As Patty read to me, my heart was glued to what she was reading. The one thing that kept racing through my head is why do Christians have such a hard time showing and expressing GRACE when people mess up? Why is it that the world can be more sympathetic and kind but people in the church can be so cruel? I have experienced some of these same feelings because of some poor judgements on my part in regards to my family. Although the church talks about reconciliation, do they really mean it? Ted had pastored that church for 22 years and had such an amazing heart for helping people. But once people found out that he had messed up, it was as if everyone didn't' want anything to do with him. He was kicked out of his own church and even asked to leave the state. Is this the way Jesus operates? I don't think so. In fact, when I read the Bible I see Jesus hanging out with all kinds of sinners. He won people to Him by His love for them. This really makes me sad because I wonder how many people have given up on church because the "church" is so judgemental. You don't dare be yourself or ever tell anyone how you're really doing because you just might get kicked out. So what happens, people continue to live in their sin with no hope of ever getting better. Why wasn't Pastor Ted restored to his position? Why were so many lies said about him to make the overseers look good? Why were they not allowed to defend themselves or share their side of the story? What were the overseers so afraid of? I believe that a church that truly thrives is a church that embraces the heart of Jesus. I know we are all sinners and not one of us is perfect, but why do church leaders categorize sins as being unforgivable in the church? The Bible I read says that pastors or leaders should be restored gently and that those doing the restoring should be very careful not to judge because they just might fall themselves.

I'm writing about this topic today because I know how dangerous bitterness can be. Satan would love nothing more than to see the "church" destroyed because of a lack of love. Even in some of my own situations with the church I have had to fight so hard not to become bitter. Being bitter, or taking an offense is what John Bevere calls the bait of Satan. He wants me to become bitter and angry so that my heart will become hard and unforgiving. And this is what brings me back to the Haggards. As I listened to several different interviews with them, including their most recent visit to Grate Lakes Church here in Kenosha, I couldn't help be see their forgiveness for those who had hurt them so badly. So many of their friends who abandoned them in their darkest hours, people they had worked along side with for 22 years, and overseers who were supposed to gently restore Ted back into the church. Ted and Gayle could have just given up and I know there were times when Ted wanted to give up,but he refused to allow his heart to get hard and he allowed the love and forgiveness of not only his wife Gayle, but of Jesus to infiltrate his very soul and helped him get back on his feet knowing that he was totally and completely forgiven.

I was so blessed, not only by Gayle's amazing book, but by their testimony! They are true examples of people who are walking out their faith. Some people think that Ted is still arrogant but I don't see it that way at all. I see Ted as a man who truly understands what true forgiveness is all about and what it feels like. I'm so very thankful that I have had a chance to learn more about this precious couple and I pray that my life will also show what God's amazing grace has done for me. This is what we need in the church! A bunch of folks who are eager to pass on that amazing grace to a hurting and dying world. When the people in our communities start to see that grace in action .... watch out because church will never be the same!!!

Remembering to Pray!

2010-02-28T23:11:00.000-06:00

As I sat in church today, the presence of the Holy Spirit was definately there. The choir sang a song that just blessed me so much. I had to get to my feet because I just couldn't sit still. The song talks about the power of Jesus' name and how incredible that name is. As I praised Jesus and allowed Him to minister to me, I was reminded of how much He longs to have that intimate, personal relationship with me and with you as well! We were created to worship Him but He gave us a free will to decide if we would love Him or reject Him.

Last night, my wife Patty was reading to me from Gail Haggard's new book out called "Why I Stayed". We read together for over 3 hours and then again this morning for another good hour before church. As we read through the pages of her testimony and the tremendous hurt she has gone through and then the amazing healing power of Jesus, I was once again reminded of His GRACE. But why do I struggle talking to Him? Do I think that prayer is some kind of religious activity? Jesus wants to have a relationship with me. He talks to me through His Word, which I need to be reading more, and He loves it when I talk to Him when I pray. Sometimes we think that we have to pray a certain way, but prayer is just communicating with God ... it's talking to Him just like we would talk to a friend. He longs to be our closest friend and I felt this again not only as Patty read to me but as I sat in church and worshiped Him.

There is nothing easy about this life! Each of us have our own struggles, but Jesus promised us that He would never leave us or forsake us and when we are facing temptation, He will give us a way out. Here's what 1 Corinthians 10:13 says in the New Living Translation ... "The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. he will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, He will show you a way out so that you can endure." My prayer this week is that I will remember these verses as I seek to live today well. I pray that when I'm tempted to eat something I shouldn't, that 1 Corinthians 10:13 will flash in my mind and remind me that He has given me a way out. I pray that I will learn how to love Him more each day knowing that He longs to be my friend and He longs to help me every step of my life and journey. But most of all, I pray that I will be His hands and feet and will be open to however He wants to use me. I am truly a blessed man and I am so thankful for the Lord's amazing GRACE!

Some is Better then None!

2010-02-27T00:51:00.000-06:00

As I woke up this morning, I couldn't believe how sore my body was feeling ... and still is ... Certainly the extra pounds that I have put on lately have added to my misery but it has been frustrating hurting so much. I didn't swim yesterday because I felt that I just needed to rest my body and honestly, I wasn't going swim today either but my precious wife Patty encouraged me to fight through the pain ... and not to give in to the temptation to take another day off.

My day was busy today and I almost wonderred if I would even make it to our local YMCA where they have just recently opened a beautiful 25 yard pool with 8 swim lanes. But I was able to go for an hour and as I was swimming the thought came to me that some is better then none. Of course I'm referring to exercise and not food this time ... :) I wasn't able to get in as much swimming as I would have liked but I did manage 3/4 of a mile so I was happy with that considering my time constraint. What's my point? We do have to fight through the pain some days, even it it's for a shorter workout. Every pound I lose from this frame of mine will make my body feel better and better. Now it's time to go rest this body of mine and get ready for a new day that the Lord is making for me! I wonder what it will hold?

It's Never Too Late

2010-02-22T22:58:00.000-06:00

It's hard to believe that so many months have gone by since I last posted on my blog! I had so many good intentions of writing about my journey to California but not even one post made it.

Although I had an amazing trip, and learned so much about myself, I did not do well with my weight once I got home. There's really no excuse for this other than I was very busy and didn't do well at balancing my life. But the Lord continues to show me so many things about myself and I refuse to give up. Our new pool has opened at the YMCA and I absolute love it. I was back in today and had an amazing swim.

So with God's help, I'm back at it doing what I know how to do. I know that if I continue to do my part, then He will give me the strength to keep on fighting.

It's never too late to start living a healthier lifestyle and my prayer is that I can just take today and live it well! I don't need to worry about tomorrow, or next week or next month because the Lord has that covered. I just need to focus on today and do my best to live it well.

A New Beginning

2009-08-17T00:42:00.000-05:00

Welcome to my new blog! I have often read other people's blogs and have thought on many different occasions that I too should learn how to blog my thoughts and ideas. I have often wondered how my thought process might change as I begin to share my thoughts and ideas through this forum.

Three and a half years ago, I set out on a journey to become a healthier me! You see, back then, in 2005 I was extremely obese and desperate for help. I could no longer stand up for more then just a few minutes and needed the help of a cane. Any time we would go to a store to shop I would have to ride one of those electric carts around, and if you know me that in itself is pretty funny as I am legally blind and don't have a drivers license. So at least I got to sort of drive ... lol. Any way, I have worked hard these past several years to become a healthier person but I just don't seem to make it all the way. Just recently, my wife Patty and I were talking about it and a few days later, while she was walking at her favorite late her in Kenosha, WI, the Lord gave her an idea to offer me some time away to really allow the Lord to show me some areas in my life that have caused me not to finish this journey that I started back in 2006. You see, a good friend of mine, Dr. Nick Yphantides who authored the book "My Big Fat Greek Diet" took a radical sabbatical for a year to focus on himself and to lose 270 lbs. During his time away from home the Lord taught him many valuable lessons and this is what Patty felt the Lord was showing here ... that if I could get away and really allow the Lord to show me some of those areas in my life that were holding me back ... I could finally get some healing in those areas and actually learn how to forgive myself for some of my own shortcomings.

And so after much prayer and discussions with our family, I have decided to take up the offer from my wife to spend some time just focusing on myself. We talked with our kids Alex (20) and Becca (18) about it as well to make sure we were all on the same page and both of them encouraged me to do this ... not only for me but for our family. How many of us truly have this kind of opportunity to get away for a bit to just focus on ourselves? It's such an amazing gift from my family and so I will use the time wisely knowing that God is going to help change me from the inside out.

And so on August 30th at 5:50AM, I will be flying out of Milwaukee headed to my folks home in Valencia, CA whom I will stay with for awhile. I also plan of traveling to Beaumont, TX where I"ll be spending some time with my dear friend Pastor Ray McNames who also happens to be a certified counselor. He has graciously offered to help me do an evaluation of my life and to take an inventory of my past memories so that I can get some closure. I know this won't be an easy journey but I'm willing to do whatever it takes to become completely healthy from the inside out!

And thus, the title for my blog! Live Today Well! For too long I have focused on the end result and have missed so much of the journey. The Lord is showing me how much I just need to focus on today and learn how to live today well! Today I need to spend time with Jesus. Today I need to workout. Today I need to spend some quality time with my wife and kids. Today I need to make right eating choices. I need to speak God's promises over my life today and I need to believe them. As I begin to put these new principles for living into action I know the Lord will continue to reveal new truths for me to live by and I know when I come home I'll have much better understanding of who He has called me to be. So today I chose to live well! How about you?